Conquering Comparison


It’s pretty gnarly, right?

We all seem to experience it, so I wanted to share my thoughts on it, and see what you guys had to say about it.

What I know to be true about comparison:

  • It’s rooted in a belief that we somehow are inadequate. Something inside of us is saying, “You’ll never be like her” and the outward experiences affirm/validate the inward dialogue.

  • It serves as a mirror that projects our own shortcomings back to us, which can be super uncomfortable. We see something in someone else that we believe we ourselves could be creating, but for some reason we’re not.

  • It robs us of experiencing joy and it robs the world of experiencing our fullness because it encourages hiding and cowering - we feel inadequate, which naturally results in feelings of shame, which naturally makes us want to hide.

How I’ve learned to overcome comparison:

  • I ask questions - Some would have you unfollow or unfriend people who trigger these feelings within you - I would have you do the exact opposite. Become curious. Ask questions. Get to the bottom of why that person is triggering you, because there’s a reason and until you identify it, the message will just continue to surface.

  • I affirm myself - Depending on the situation this always looks different. Sometimes it’s listing out the things that I’m good at. Sometimes it’s identifying the ways in which I’ve grown. Sometimes it’s looking at my own body and acknowledging all the things it’s allowed me to experience.

  • I come back to gratitude - This has been the quickest way that I’ve found to beat comparison. When I focus on everything that I have, everything that’s going right, everything that’s bringing me joy - whatever someone else is doing loses all appeal.




©2019 by XOLOGAN.O. Proudly created with